Tuesday, November 15, 2011

One of those days

Did you ever have one of those days? One of the days where you wonder what the hell you're doing with your life? Well, that's the night I'm having. I got the e-mail about my third class that starts on December 1st today. We have to submit a copy of our resume by November 22nd. Needless to say, I needed to update mine. Granted, I'm not done, but really? A resume?? The course is called Career Strategies. So, yeah, I guess it makes sense that they want to see a copy of our resumes. OK, well, I've started to update mine. I've had my current job for 8 1/2 years now...it's not an easy task.

Regardless, there's nothing like updating your resume to make you feel inadequate. I'm looking at my resume and I think, what a wonderful lateral career I've had. I like what I do and I'm really good at it. Don't get me wrong. But, WOW! How incredibly mediocre. Ugh. Then, I'm picking up some dinner dishes and remember an evening when one of classmates told me how she considers me to have a successful career and she looks up to me for that. It's amazing how others see things in us that we fail to notice. Here, I've been sitting this evening getting down on myself because I'm not Queen of the World and there are people out there who think I'm pretty amazing in one way or another.

What's that phrase about how the smile you give may be nothing to you, but it's everything to the one who receives it? It's all in the perception. This feeling of mediocrity is weird for me, because it's not how I normally feel about myself. We all have our days, right? But, normally, I'm a pretty confident person. I believe in myself, heck, I even think I'm pretty. There! Take that! I said it. I think I have a generally healthy self-image. Not all of us are so lucky though. Some of us think way too much or too little of ourselves. Neither is a comfortable place to be mentally or emotionally. I know, I used to be there.

So, how did I do it? How did I break out of that mindset so that when it happens today it's not the norm? I don't know. It wasn't like turning on a light switch. Change happens gradually and in small increments. Sometimes it means, literally, standing in front of the mirror and telling yourself you look pretty, or that you love yourself. Sometimes it's as simple as setting a small goal and attaining it. Generally, you need to think about what you like about yourself and start there. Focus on that, smile about that, be happy about that. You've got to act like you like yourself, like you think you're pretty, or however it is that you want to be. If you act it consistently, you'll begin to believe it. No, really! Our brains can't really deal with thinking one way and acting another. I've said it before, right action leads to right thought.

That being said, how do you want to be? Start acting like and you will start thinking like it!

Chicken Asada from Trader Joe's with onions and peppers, orzo with tomatoes and romano cheese, and steamed broccoli

Big salad with mushroom barley soup--I did eat one pack of crackers...

For breakfast: eggs with hotsauce, blueberry muesli and fruit

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