Sunday, January 26, 2014

I shouldn't have done it

I did something the other night that I NEVER should have done. In fact, I know better than to do this! Many many years ago, I even changed gyms so that it would be more difficult to do this. I knew I was doing it when it was happening, but I couldn't stop myself...

So what was it? Well, it's pretty normal to notice what other people's bodies look like at the gym. Especially in the meathead weight room!!! On this particular night though, a woman's body caught my eye. Specifically, her ass while she was running. My god did she have a great ass! I know that mine will pretty much never look like that. Not because it can't, but because I don't want to do that much work to get it that way. A little later, I saw her looking at herself in the mirror. To me, it looked like she was judging herself. Whether she was or not, I may never know.

OK, so what did I do??? Well, when I saw her looking at herself in the mirror, I noticed how thin she was and how perfect her body was. Yup. That's what I did. I compared my 40 year old body to her (probably) 20 something body. I know better. Why is this so wrong? Because it took me a long time to like myself as I am. It took years to do that. When I compare myself to unrealistic images, it takes seconds to undo all the work I did, to feel like I'm not good enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough...just not enough.

Luckily, I came to my senses. When I did, I realized that I know her. And guess what, she's a really nice person! She's one of those people that you like to be around because she somehow sparkles. And she is pretty and she does have a great body. But she's also 20 something...and I'm not going to have a body like that in my 40's. Not because I can't, but because I'm not willing to put that much work into it. I'd rather have a life that balances more than just the gym and working out. In fact, I choose to have a life that involves more than just going to the gym. I choose to have a life that involves eating pizza and chocolate.


cheese ravioli, corn, broccoli, fruit salad
Greek salad


leftover pizza and fresh fruit
savory chicken, broccoli, and squash
beef stroganoff, corn, fiesta blend veggies

cereal and fruit

cheese ravioli and veggies


pasta fagioli, corn, and broccoli
turkey chili, corn, and mixed veg


pasta fagioli, squash, broccoli, and fruit
pizza and salad


BBQ chicken with rice & beans, fiesta blend veggies


tomatoes, avocado, eggs, and steak
 salad with chicken
spaghetti, broccoli, and mixed veg


cereal, berries and coffee!!
chicken with buffalo sauce, cauliflower and broccoli

Friday, January 17, 2014

Pain in the ass

It's being interesting times...I've got a pain in the ass. And it's not a boyfriend! Of course, if it was, it'd be easier to deal with. No, I've got an actual pain in my ass. I fell at the gym the other night and landed smack with a big loud thud on my tailbone. OUCH!!

Actually, I'm lucky. It could have been a lot worse. My pride was hurt more than my ass. But seriously, what if it were worse? What if I needed to go to the hospital? What if I needed to miss work? Oh dear, that thought did actually cross my mind. I'd have been screwed. Not because I'd miss out on pay, but because I don't think I could complete my current tasks from home! I mean, needing medical attention would suck, but that's what insurance is for. That's why I pay some ungodly amount every month. So that when I need medical attention, I barely pay for it.

One more reason to be grateful for this job...and I shouldn't make it sound like I'm bitter or anything because I'm not. I enjoy my job. I enjoy the challenge of having a new position, of learning and growing, and of finding out who I am in this new role. There's quite a bit on my plate that I've never encountered before...some of it is more comfortable and some is more interesting than other parts. All of it is great experience though. As much as I like the challenge, part of me can't wait to get to the part where I know what I'm doing and stop questioning myself.


cereal and peaches
 chicken and dumplings with peas and carrots, mixed veggies, winter squash
chicken and dumplings with peas, carrots and noodles and mixed veggies


savory chicken, veggies, pear
 cute little diet coke!
salad and bread
roast pumpkin with yogurt and beef
Afghani vegetarian meal


fruit and yogurt
pasta fagioli, veggies and peaches

 pizza and salad

cereal and fruit
 BBQ chicken, squash and mixed veggies


egg rolls and crab rangoon
General Gau's chicken!


cereal and apple
pasta fagioli, cauliflower, and mixed veggies


cereal and peaches
savory chicken, squash and cauliflower
2.5 oz chicken and tons-o-veggies


cheese ravioli and veggies
salad and banana


pizza and veggies
mushroom risotto and veggies


cereal, banana and berries
savory chicken, veggies and fruit
BBQ chicken, veggies


yogurt, berries and banana
 office potluck
 mmmm, virgin pina colada!
scallion pancake
General Gau's chicken...or kitten as Olyver likes to say