Sunday, October 30, 2011

Closer than before

I really have some amazing friends. They help to put everything into perspective for me. It doesn't matter what my situation is, they always have something to say or share that shows me how I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.

I may have to have a potentially difficult conversation soon. I was sharing this with friend over the weekend and he confided that he too has been in a similar situation. I was honored that he would share this with me. Not only did I feel better for sharing myself with another person, but my burden felt just a little lighter for having shared it.

They say that a problem shared is a problem cut in half. I don't know if 'half' is accurate, but I know that I no longer felt alone in my plight. I know that in that moment, I was able to open myself to another a show a little bit of vulnerability and come away unharmed. It's hard to be vulnerable and open up to others. In myself, I perceive vulnerability as weakness. What's odd about that? Well, when other people show vulnerability in front of me, I feel more connected to them. I feel good that they trust me enough to share themselves and their lives with me. So, why do I have such a hard time sharing with them?? I don't have an answer for that, though I wish I did.

Anyway, sitting there, talking to my friend, it felt good to share my life with him. I can only assume that he felt just a little special to be on the receiving end because I doubt that I'm the only human out there who feels good when others confide in me. I'm just not that unique. So, assuming that other people feel similar to me, why don't I confide more in others?? Lingering bad habit? Control issue? Self-protection? Probably a little of each along with some other stuff.

I guess I still have work to do on myself. I guess I'm not done yet. But you know what? Having that conversation gave me a chance to act like the person I want to become and I took it. I went out on a limb and exposed just a little bit of myself. It's a small step, but now I'm closer than I was before!


Let's be clear, I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks...I'm not eating all that well either.
 Not too bad...mushroom barley soup and that's some sort of curried pasta on the salad.
 Nachos rule my world!
Wait, no. Ice Cream Rules!!


Ok, it could be worse.
Beef burrito with rice, veggies, cheese and guac.

I'm sure I must've eaten something else, and it was probably nachos for dinner.


Frozen chicken quesdilla from Trader Joe's. Actually, not bad. I was out of salsa...which is weird for I couldn't make it spicy.

To be fair, dinner consisted of potato chips, pretzels, frozen appetizer munchies, some chicken and cheesy dipping sauce stuff.
 Trader Joe's frozen cheese tortellini with veggies and some added romano cheese


Waffle with tons-o-syrup and sausages
Fresh peas with a little butter, couscous and chicken

Not shown: a truckload full of candy and popcorn...

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