heather's Food bLog: Changes

So often I find that there's a million different topics that I want to write about...some recent ideas are:

How we grow and change with time, ultimately becoming completely different people
Being judgemental of others
The impact we have on others without knowing it

Those are some big big topics...and I'm not going to write about any of them today. Instead, I'm going to keep it simple and talk about where I'm at today.

Some think that I'm a good self-observer. Maybe that's true, but I'm sure that there are many people who are better at it than me. Regardless, I've noticed some changes in me lately. The biggest change is that I just don't have the physical or mental energy that I used to have. I'm tired more, I need more sleep to feel functional. I need more downtime and recovery time than I used to. I need more time on my own than I used to. Add to that wanting to cry for days on end for no reason what so ever.

Quite honestly, I've been wondering how much of this is stress of the new-ish job and how much is normal aging. After all, I am 40 and it's normal that I should notice changes in my body, energy, mood, and metabolism. Ugh, metabolism may be one on the 'worst part' list. What else is on the 'worst part' list? Hormone changes.

Yeah, I'm pretty certain that hormone changes aren't all in my head. I'm pretty certain that biology is playing a larger role than I would like. And it sucks. I'm so certain that I've spoken with my doctor. She's run tests, and all signs are pointing to perimenopause. Great. I thought I'd be OK with this, but I'm not. At least, I don't think I am. It's still pretty new to me, and I'm looking to find acceptance, but finding it is difficult so far. There's a mourning for the loss of youth that I did not anticipate.

From what I've started reading (just scratching the surface really) is that hormone fluctuations at this point of my life are the 'mother of all PMS'...but that diet and exercise are the first line of defense I have against the symptoms. Good to know. Good to know that the things I strive to do in my life to care for myself on a daily basis are the things that I should be doing anyway to help manage the aging process. This does give me comfort. The scariest piece of managing the symptoms of perimenopause with diet and exercise is that it's recommended to cut back on caffeine. Me? Cut back on caffeine? I don't really think that's safe for anyone.

In all seriousness, I have a lot of learning to do and eventually some decisions to make about how I want to manage my health and well-being in this new phase of my life.