Sunday, May 18, 2014


So often I find that there's a million different topics that I want to write about...some recent ideas are:
  1. How we grow and change with time, ultimately becoming completely different people
  2. Being judgemental of others
  3. The impact we have on others without knowing it
Those are some big big topics...and I'm not going to write about any of them today. Instead, I'm going to keep it simple and talk about where I'm at today.

Some think that I'm a good self-observer. Maybe that's true, but I'm sure that there are many people who are better at it than me. Regardless, I've noticed some changes in me lately. The biggest change is that I just don't have the physical or mental energy that I used to have. I'm tired more, I need more sleep to feel functional. I need more downtime and recovery time than I used to. I need more time on my own than I used to. Add to that wanting to cry for days on end for no reason what so ever.

Quite honestly, I've been wondering how much of this is stress of the new-ish job and how much is normal aging. After all, I am 40 and it's normal that I should notice changes in my body, energy, mood, and metabolism. Ugh, metabolism may be one on the 'worst part' list. What else is on the 'worst part' list? Hormone changes. 

Yeah, I'm pretty certain that hormone changes aren't all in my head. I'm pretty certain that biology is playing a larger role than I would like. And it sucks. I'm so certain that I've spoken with my doctor. She's run tests, and all signs are pointing to perimenopause. Great. I thought I'd be OK with this, but I'm not. At least, I don't think I am. It's still pretty new to me, and I'm looking to find acceptance, but finding it is difficult so far. There's a mourning for the loss of youth that I did not anticipate. 

From what I've started reading (just scratching the surface really) is that hormone fluctuations at this point of my life are the 'mother of all PMS'...but that diet and exercise are the first line of defense I have against the symptoms. Good to know. Good to know that the things I strive to do in my life to care for myself on a daily basis are the things that I should be doing anyway to help manage the aging process. This does give me comfort. The scariest piece of managing the symptoms of perimenopause with diet and exercise is that it's recommended to cut back on caffeine. Me? Cut back on caffeine? I don't really think that's safe for anyone.

In all seriousness, I have a lot of learning to do and eventually some decisions to make about how I want to manage my health and well-being in this new phase of my life.


sushi dinner at home


savory chicken, fruit and veggies


savory chicken, veggies, and a furry on-looker
spicy veggies, chicken and rice


Asian-inspired fajitas


chicken wings
 cobb salad and honey mustard
chicken, spaghetti squash and broccoli


cheese ravioli, veggies and fruit
chicken, rice, peppers, pineapple, siracha sauce


savory chicken, veggies, and fruit


BBQ chicken, veggies and fruit


Gotta love Legal's!
lobster roll
crab roll


beef and cheese enchiladas with veggies
ghobi pakora...for dinner there was rice, garlic naan, mango chicken and all sorts of shared curries


1/2 turkey sandwich, cookie and fruit
beef fajitas!


fries and rings
Mmmm, that's one tasty burger!


cheese ravioli, corn, and fruit
steak strips and broccoli


pasta fagioli, veggies, fruit
veggies, savory chicken, siracha sauce


cheese ravioli, veggies and peaches


pasta fagioli, veggies and fruit
buffalo chicken pizza and salad


chinese for lunch
pizza for dinner


scramble with ham, peppers and onions, lots of fruit and a tortilla

chicken, rice, veggies and broccoli

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