heather's Food bLog: May 2014

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Self-preservation v. Selfishness

Can self-preservation and selfishness be two ends of the same spectrum? I mean, in my world, where I basically exist at the top of Maslow's pyramid, I'm not focused on the actual literal not-dying part of self-preservation. Well, not as much as I am on the psychological coping mechanism part. Both are important, but the coping mechanism is definitely more relevant here.

So, can self-preservation and selfishness be at two extremes of the same spectrum? Both are focused on the self, and both are ways of protecting oneself...although one is more socially acceptable than the other. Both keep others away, or out...both keep us from being vulnerable...weak. On the flip-side, both can keep others in and can help to give us strength. So, are they extremes on the same spectrum? Are they closer than that?

Or rather, are they one in the same? You know, like having baggage vs. having a past. Is self-preservation how we protect ourselves in a healthy manner as opposed to doing in a manner that is destructive? Is the difference in the HOW? Rather than in the WHAT? Does the difference boil down to being respectful of others and being aware of how our actions impact them?

5/25/14

Mmm, eggs & salsa, ham, sweet potato hash browns, and tomato

5/26/14

cheeseburger and macaroni salad....and numerous brownie cupcakes (not pictured)

5/27/14

savory chicken, veggies, and fruit

it's not delivery, it's DiGiorno...

Saturday, May 24, 2014

What I want

Maybe I am getting old. No, really. I may be. How do I know this? I know this because I'm not willing to accept drama in my life anymore. My bullshit tolerance is so low that it's almost non-existent. Huh. Pretty amazing when you recognize that happening. What's weird though is that it's not in all areas of my life.

In some areas, I find that I don't know what I want and I'll put up with much more than someone else as I try to figure it out. In other areas, don't dare question me, 'cause I know what I want and I'm not going to take any shit. Sometimes, I find that I deal with drama that I don't necessarily want but can't or won't shut it out of my life. I have no idea why. I guess this falls into the category of not knowing what I want.

So how do you figure out what you want in life? One article I read suggested 4 steps:

Think about where you'll be in 5 years
Write your personal manifesto - know your beliefs and values
Volunteer in an area where you have an interest - explore
Work on side projects - discover a passion

These are all worthwhile exercises taken together or taken separately. Personally, the manifesto sounds interesting to me. Actually, I think I like the self discovery that would lead up to being able to write a personal manifesto. Discovering who you are is the first step to knowing what you want. It probably won't be a straight shot, but that's certainly alright. Afterall, it's the journey and not the destination that makes life interesting.

The journey is where we find opportunities we may not otherwise find. The detours along the way are how new people come into our lives. Getting stuck in traffic keeps us still long enough to find a solution in a difficult time. Slowing down for the curves along the scenic route remind us to stop, take notice, and find gratitude in all around us. The goal is to not travel in circles, to learn early on so as to not repeat our mistakes. And, of course, discover ourselves and what we want along the way.

5/19/14

savory chicken, veggies and fruit

chicken, rice, and veggies

5/20/14

cheese ravioli, veggies, and peaches

chicken pasta parmesean and broccoli

5/21/14

savory chicken and veggies

5/22/14

pasta fagioli, veggies, and fruit

filet, mushrooms, rice, veggies

5/23/14

turkey sandwich, cukes and red peppers, and fruit

spicy crab salad

pork gyoza

selection of sushi and sashimi

selection of sushi

5/24/14

buffalol chicken tenders

burger with fried egg and onion rings

Mmmm, Turkish take-out!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Changes

So often I find that there's a million different topics that I want to write about...some recent ideas are:

How we grow and change with time, ultimately becoming completely different people
Being judgemental of others
The impact we have on others without knowing it

Those are some big big topics...and I'm not going to write about any of them today. Instead, I'm going to keep it simple and talk about where I'm at today.

Some think that I'm a good self-observer. Maybe that's true, but I'm sure that there are many people who are better at it than me. Regardless, I've noticed some changes in me lately. The biggest change is that I just don't have the physical or mental energy that I used to have. I'm tired more, I need more sleep to feel functional. I need more downtime and recovery time than I used to. I need more time on my own than I used to. Add to that wanting to cry for days on end for no reason what so ever.

Quite honestly, I've been wondering how much of this is stress of the new-ish job and how much is normal aging. After all, I am 40 and it's normal that I should notice changes in my body, energy, mood, and metabolism. Ugh, metabolism may be one on the 'worst part' list. What else is on the 'worst part' list? Hormone changes.

Yeah, I'm pretty certain that hormone changes aren't all in my head. I'm pretty certain that biology is playing a larger role than I would like. And it sucks. I'm so certain that I've spoken with my doctor. She's run tests, and all signs are pointing to perimenopause. Great. I thought I'd be OK with this, but I'm not. At least, I don't think I am. It's still pretty new to me, and I'm looking to find acceptance, but finding it is difficult so far. There's a mourning for the loss of youth that I did not anticipate.

From what I've started reading (just scratching the surface really) is that hormone fluctuations at this point of my life are the 'mother of all PMS'...but that diet and exercise are the first line of defense I have against the symptoms. Good to know. Good to know that the things I strive to do in my life to care for myself on a daily basis are the things that I should be doing anyway to help manage the aging process. This does give me comfort. The scariest piece of managing the symptoms of perimenopause with diet and exercise is that it's recommended to cut back on caffeine. Me? Cut back on caffeine? I don't really think that's safe for anyone.

In all seriousness, I have a lot of learning to do and eventually some decisions to make about how I want to manage my health and well-being in this new phase of my life.