heather's Food bLog

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Collision of Lifetimes

My last day in Denver felt like a collision of lifetimes...I know, it's weird. How can spending one day on my own in Denver reduce me to tears whilst sitting in front of a painting?? Specifically, this painting:

The issue lies with me being in Denver, visiting one of my oldest friends. Denver is where the boy from Arizona lives, who I once, a million lifetimes ago, thought I could marry. And this painting, this particular painting is on view in Denver and it normally lives in my favorite city, Washington, D.C., in my favorite museum...in a gallery that I can picture, that I can smell, that I can feel...a gallery from yet another lifetime.

That's all it took.

My class is reading Home, by Toni Morrison for their First-Year Seminar this term...they're being asked, I'm being asked, to think about the concept of HOME. What is it? Does it change? How does it change? Is it a place? Is it a feeling? How does it shape, mold and change us? The painting combined with my mind working on this topic was all it took. All of the places and people and times that I've called home collided in me today. That feeling was overwhelming and left me sobbing and sniffling in front of this painting.

Boston was supposed to be where I would live for 3 years. It was never supposed to become home. Three years passed and it has never been the right time to leave. Somewhere in there, Boston became a home. Somewhere in there, I got my shit together. Somewhere along the way, Boston, and the people and opportunities it has afforded me have, changed me. What's strange though is that when I go back to my old homes, they still feel like they fit. Can Home be many places? Can Home be a time? Can Homes collide in one body? Why, yes, they can, and did.

Am I meant to stay in Boston much longer? Do I want to experience another city? I don't know. I do know that recent opportunities can lead to much greater things. Things that must be weighed and measured. For now, Boston is Home. For today, I'm a collision of lifetimes.

9/17/13

banana, raspberries, and Greek yogurt

Panera!!! salad and cuppy-cake

more cuppy-cakes!!!!! I admit, I ate two...just not in one day!

Please note, the following items were mostly shared between 3 people

guacamole and sushi

tuna tacos

shumai

sushi (all mine!)

olive oil cake

3/18/13

Panera!!! power egg bowl with steak and a fruit cup

Big-ass salad from some place called Mad Greens

Mmm, caramel and chocolate covered marshmallow on a stick!

Dinner to die for! Chicken with grilled veggies - corn, zucchini, squash, mushrooms, eggplant, and onions

9/19/13

First day back to work...

bacon, potatoes, eggs, banana, and pear

chicken with steamed cauliflower and carrots

crave-worthy pepperoni pizza for the girl who is too tired after flying all night and not sleeping (yeah, that'd be me!)

giant salad to cram in that final serving of fruits/veggies for the day

Monday, September 16, 2013

Favorite things

Several days into vaca and I'm doing pretty well with getting lots of veggies. Not perfect, but what ever is?

Today was a nice hike, some shopping, and some good good food! No deep thoughts for the day, no musings on identity, impact, or contrast...just a nod to relaxation. Today was a day filled with some of my favorite things:

time with good friends

outdoor physical activity

a great sale at Coach

good food

Life doesn't really get any better than that. And if you are lucky enough to know to appreciate these things, then you are someone who, from time to time, experiences those moments when your heart is full of gratitude and contentment. At those moments you start to wonder how it's possible that you deserve all of this. Then you stop, and just let it flow over you, surround you, and you laugh or cry at how you have a life that's better than anything you could have otherwise imagined.

9/16/13

green and red chips and salsa

clearly, I did not think that the cold breakfast pizza was worth a photo...

cobb salad with an extra veggie platter to cram in even more veggies!

Mmmm, lamb shank, with carrots, tomatoes, mushrooms, broccoli, and watermelon feta salad!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Contrast

Things to do in Denver? Well, avoiding flooding areas is one of them...yeah. There's tons of flooding going on around my vacation spot while I'm vacationing! There was a little bit of excitement this afternoon as a matter of fact as we tried to get back home and avoid road closures.

While incredibly sad and dramatic, it's certainly not what I want to write about tonight. Tonight, rather, I want to write about ascending Pike's Peak. I took the cog rail to the top, 14,115 feet above sea level. As the train was going uphill, I realized, that when I went skydiving, we jumped from about 14,000 feet! So, the last time I was at 14,000 and outside, I was free-falling to the ground...this time, I had my feet firmly planted on the solid rock of the Rocky Mountains. What a contrast!

I've always believed, and still do, that we have to be able to see contrasts in life. How can you know happiness if you don't know sadness. Can there be beauty without ugliness? Why talk about contrast? Because I felt a feeling today that I have not felt in quite a long time...being up there on that mountain, with very little oxygen. I felt light-headed, my legs were weak, I felt physically drunk. I certainly did not expect that! It's been over seven years since I gave up alcohol for a healthier and better life. Not one day have I looked back and wished I made a different commitment to myself. It was certainly an odd reminder of a contrast in my life.

9/15/13

snack tray with apple, carrots, cheese and almonds to stave off the hunger of the morning

Starbucks protein box with cookie

chocolate and coconut snack bar

high altitude mini donut

Corn Nuts! Just like in Heathers...only nobody is dead

Greek Salad

Real actual Buffalo chicken wings!!!! Just like from Upstate NY!!!!

Pizza

fruit crisp dessert pizza

Impact on Others

I had this moment the other day...a moment that reminded me that we never know the impact that we have on the lives of others. I was talking with one of my students about how students in college are all trying to figure out who they are. Whether they are conscious of it or not. She tells me that she feels that she has a good handle on who she is but knows that that who she is will change over time. She recalled an identity exercise we did in class last fall...I barely remember the exercise! She spoke about how her understanding of herself seemed to gel with that exercise and has allowed her to reflect on how her identity has changed over the past year. I love the idea of exploring identity!

This conversation, however, has me interested in exploring the impact that my words and actions have on others...As my own 40th birthday is quickly approaching, I feel like I know myself. I know I'm entering a new phase in my life. I'm not certain what that will entail, but I know that new challenges and new adventures are in front of me.

Moving into my 40's is coming at a time when I'm entering a new phase in my career as well and will have the opportunity to impact the lives of others in new ways. It's time to think about how I can help to lift up other women, what I can do to further my own goals, and how I can bring these same practices into all areas of my life. What conscious effort can I make to further my meditation on this idea? What can I do to focus on what my impact may be? Do I know what I want my legacy to be?

9/12/13

Greek yogurt and peaches

mushroom risotto, corn, and mixed veggies

buffalo wings and mac & cheese

9/13/13

Greek yogurt and berries

salad and buffalo chicken pizza

buffalo wings to share

burger with bacon and gouda, and fries

9/14/13

First meal in Denver, CO

berries and pineapple for breakfast!

We went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Tamayo. Sadly, I think I was the only one who loved every bite of her meal. Others were underwhelmed, or did not enjoy the combination of flavors as much as they anticipated

guacamole with chips and red and green salsa

GRASSHOPPER!!!!!!!

guacamole with spicy crab

carne asada, black beans, green bean and cactus salad, and some sort of bacon-wrapped pepper stuffed with cheese

tower of fire-grilled veggies

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Permission to Engage

It's been an interesting few days...As always the balance between work and my life is difficult to find. I work too many hours and don't sleep enough. Neither is good for my mental or physical health. I did, however, have two extraordinary events this week! One was a seminar I attended and the other was a 7.7 mile run. Yes. 7.7 miles. I'm getting there!

The seminar though...AMAZING!!!

Vernice 'FlyGirl' Armour spoke at the Simmons Leadership Conference Encore Event this week! She is completely amazing and inspirational. The first time I heard her speak, I remember she talked about how too many women listen to the negative self-talk in their own heads...boy, did that ring true! This week, she talked a little about how too many times, when we put an idea 'out there' that others (and ourselves) shoot it down. That we often do not get many ideas to choose from because someone's telling us why they won't work.

She talked about how each of us needs to give ourself permission to go out and accomplish our goals, to stop waiting for the perfect time, to take action in the moment. She asked us what we were willing to do and if we were willing to invest in ourselves. She asked how we are of service to others...

Sound familiar?? Yeah, stuff I talk about all the time! It's about starting from where you're at, setting goals that will test you, but not giving into fear. It's about emotional buy-in (the Elephant!), it's about relationships and relying on those around you for help...and helping those around you. It's about willingness.

She asked us to consider our legacy. What is going leave us fulfilled? Every moment is a choice...so what choices are going to get us where we want to go? And why not start now? As FlyGirl says, 'You have permission to engage!"