The parade

And this is what my eating SHOULD look like!! Well, you'll know what I mean when you see the photos. It's so much easier to eat healthy when I'm at work and that structure is just built into the day.

I don't have a lot to talk about tonight...I've got a whole bunch swirling 'round in my head, most of it is about school though. Not interesting...glass ceilings, cultural change within an organization, stuff like that. I did, however, make it to the gym today and I plan on going again tomorrow as well. Since I start my weeks on Mondays for the purpose of tracking goals, today marks 1/3 of the way there for the week's exercise goal! What a great start! Tomorrow, I'll be 2/3 of the way there! It may not sound exciting to you, but to me, it's like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one.

Seriously, though, I really do have all this mish-mash of stuff rolling around in my head...like my own little entertainment factory. Luckily, most of it is other people's drama. I don't envy them though. The choices they face. J asked me tonight why I was on the verge of tears at her story...I can't help it! I get so emotionally caught up in her stories of can't-live-without-you-love...who wouldn't!? I don't know about you, but the gym really helps me to focus when my head gets all this clutter in it. Trust me, my own mental drama is never so interesting as J's or A's...but it's definitely more distracting, just because it's mine.

Regardless of how interesting or dull my mental drama is, I need my head to quiet down sometimes. I like to call it 'the parade', because it's like this parade of characters that rolls on through without rhyme or reason. They say you can't control your thoughts....right? Well, for me, I need a break from the parade once in a while. Sometimes I get this through meditation (read: sitting still with eyes closed and just breathe for 5 minutes or more), but mostly it's through exercise or playing with my cat. It's anything that keeps me and my head in the moment. It's being focused on whatever I'm doing, being engaged with whoever I'm with, it's being present. My newest thing I'm trying is listening to music in other languages. It's hard to get caught up in anything but the sound of the voices and the emotions that they evoke when you have no clue what they're saying. Sometimes I can actually tune it out enough for it to just be background.

It doesn't really matter how I quiet my mind as long as I do. That mental peace is part of an all-around healthy lifestyle. Being healthy doesn't just mean taking care of ourselves physically, it's also taking care of ourselves mentally and emotionally. So, how do you take care of yourself mentally and emotionally?

Back on the corn...Orville Redenbacher's Smart Pop 100 calorie pack...not as good as the really bad for you popcorn that I love, but it's good.

An interesting and yummy dinner concoction...chicken, corn, pinto beans, onions, red peppers, a little chili powder, garlic powder, medium salsa and a little low fat cheese

Normally, I do not photograph my beverages, but this just felt like dessert...OJ with seltzer water, my own little virgin mimosa!

Afternoon snack...I was soooo hungry today! One of my student employees was in my office when I devoured this. She said that after yesterday's hike, my body is repairing itself and it needs energy to do that. She's right. My body was sore sore sore today!

Pizza...'nuff said.  And a big salad

Pretty normal breakfast. I'm hoping for milk tomorrow. Cereal is just not the same in yogurt.

Cliffs of INSANITY

I had a pretty amazing day today. Hiking. Getting dirty and climbing just over 2500 feet to stand atop the Cliffs of INSANITY...and then to take a little walk on over to the most amazing waterfall that I've seen in a frozen state. Well, to be fair, it wasn't frozen today. Guess what...this was my work-out today. It wasn't a long hike, but when I was barely able to stand at the base of that waterfall for the quivering in my thighs, I think it's OK to call it a work-out!

There was this moment, sitting atop the Cliffs of INSANITY (by the way, that's not their real name, I just like the Princess Bride reference.), when I thought about how none of this matters. All of the craziness in our little lives, all of the drama, all of the work stuff, all of the school stuff, all of the everything. You look out over the White Mountains and think briefly about how large they are. OK, they're not as big as the mountains in the western U.S., or the Himalayas...Is anything as big as the Himalayas? But they're pretty darned big. I grew up in NY, the biggest mountain we have is Mt. Marcy at 5344 feet. Mount Washington in the White Mountains is 6288 feet. Neither a match for Everest...BUT, you look out over these peaks and think about how long they've stood...something like 480 million years, give or take. You think about how long they've been there...they've stood up to glaciers for crying out loud! Think about that, sit there on the edge of that cliff on a gorgeous fall day and tell me that all of the stuff in your life means anything.

This is the view....

From up there...The Cliffs of INSANITY

It's a great feeling. No, really, it is. It's a great feeling to realize that what I do in my daily life doesn't mean all the much in the grand scheme of nature. Those mountains will still be there. They'll bear witness to my moment, but that's about it. They'll provide a climbing challenge to us humans, they'll provide a home to countless plants and animals and they'll still be standing when we human are long gone. Knowing that, that feeling that I am small and don't have that much influence in the world is probably the most powerful feeling that I've had (other than jumping out of an airplane...but that wasn't the same). This was one of those moments where I knew it was OK to stop holding on quite so tightly. OK to let go and trust in those around me. It was a moment where I was able to experience a power greater than myself, to look in it the face and say, 'Yes. Yes you are.' It's a liberating experience to find out that I'm not responsible for everything. That even I have my limits.

Maybe this sounds like babbling to you, but tell me you haven't felt it before...that feeling of smallness in the world. That feeling that you are small and the world is oh so big. To look at those rocks, see the grooves that run along them and know that that was water and sand that did that. Yes, water and sand. Granted, it was a lot of water, frozen, and rocks, not really sand, and it took a really really long time. But there it is, water and sand. Pressure and time. Still don't know what I'm talking about? Go visit the Grand Canyon and tell me you've never felt this feeling.

Anyway, pressure and time. What's that mean to us in our little lives that are only a blink to those mountains? I think it means persistence and patience. If you know me, then you know I'm plenty persistent. But patient is something to work on. All of the stuff in our lives, it only means anything to us. It's part of what gives us satisfaction. If we want to be good at what we do, it takes persistence and patience. It's a growth process. It's the same thing with those mountains. It was a slow process to build them up, it was a slow process to shape them and start to cut them down, but there they are. There they stand. If we build ourselves through persistence and patience, we'll be able withstand all that tries to cut us down too.

 11/11/11

OK, clearly I forgot to photograph a meal, but for the life of me, I don't know what I ate...

 yeah, gone VERY quickly

garden salad and smoked turkey sandwich at Panera

 11/12/11

Date night at Kelly's Roast Beef!

Yeah, they're a complete addiction...

OK, so this was baked french toast made with cinnamon apple bread and fresh fruit. The baked french toast was to die for!!!

11/13/11
Dinner after hiking...Trader Joe's Asada Chicken, orzo with tomatoes and a big salad

trail mix...I was a little busy having a moment atop a cliff to remember to photograph the rest of my food. I had:
banana
apple
dried fruit
smoked turkey w/ low fat swiss and mustard on oatmeal bread
Kashi granola bar
small hot cocoa
chocolate chip dunker cookies from Trader Joe's

What's your plan?

YAY!!!! It's a long weekend!!! That means temptation, temptation, temptation!! It means very little structure to my day, it means getting off a regular eating pattern when I'm not really on one to start with...BUT, it also means lots of opportunity for small wins!!! What's a small win? Well, it's finding something small over the weekend that I can do right...something that is part of what I should be doing when I'm doing multiple things right...something that I can look back on and think, 'Wow! I did that right, even in a time of challenge!' I'll be able to look back and think, if I can do that right when things are tough, then I can certainly do more when things are easy.

So, what I need to do is have a plan. A plan allows me to pre-decide. It takes the effort out of choice. It goes back to the Rider and the Elephant. I need to shape the Path that each will follow so that my Rider doesn't get exhausted trying to control my Elephant. The desire for ice cream and chocolate can be a very powerful pull. So what am I going to pre-decide? How am I going to shape the path so my Rider doesn't get exhausted?

I think I'll start by doing some loose planning. I'm going to take some time tonight to think about how I'd like my day to go tomorrow. I'd like to get an early start, so I'll probably get up early and head to Panera for breakfast. I'd like to work-out and get some reading done, so I'll bring my readings for next week's classes and my gym clothes with me. Heck, I'll even plan to wear my sneakers so I'll have just a little less to carry. By then, it ought to be about lunch time. I should plan to bring a snack...I need to do some grocery shopping and I don't want to shop hungry. I'll plan to have a big salad for lunch...Then, I need to do some house cleaning to prepare to have people over on Saturday morning. Since I'll have gone to the grocery, I'll have no excuse not to make a healthy dinner, and perhaps the best treat of all...a little TV at night. Ah! Some relaxation!

See, now, if I follow my plan, I can meet my eating and exercise goals during an unstructured day! Now, off to get my readings and work-out clothes together for morning!

My salad tonight in class. School also provided us with a nacho snack this evening!

Snack...

Eggs with sausage, peppers and onions...cereal and milk.

I forgot to photograph my lunch...I had a 1/2 sandwich--turkey, tomato & cranberry on brown bread with a greek salad and a fruit cup.

What's your goal?

I don't really want to write tonight...but I haven't written in awhile. I've made the decision NOT to do school work tonight...so I might as well write.

Sooooooo, I realized earlier today that I hadn't stated any goals recently. I actually set a goal with my nutritionist and couple weeks ago, but I knew that my schedule wouldn't allow me to work on it for a bit. However, time to get back to task!

My goal is three work-outs each week.

I know. That's bold! Well, my classes involve so much reading this term that it's possible. Reading! What's that got to do with working out?? I've found that I can read and actually retain information while running on the elliptical. I'm pretty blown away by it too! I don't remember who told me, but someone said that you actually remember things just a little better when you exercise at the same time. I don't know how true that is for everyone, but it is true for me. So, my work-outs will end up being mainly on the weekends, but they will happen. 

What brought on the talk of goals?? Well, since my trip to Vermont, I've gained some weight back. 5 pounds. It's not that much, but I notice it. It's not that much, but it's discouraging. It's not that much, but the holidays are coming. It's not that much, but I notice it. That's all that matters.

I've had some barriers in the way of my general eating and exercise goals. The main one is my schedule. I've been eating out more than normal due to time constraints. And by eating out, please don't think 'great social calendar'...although I have had a great social calendar...I mean that I'm too tired at night to make my lunch so I eat at the cafeteria the next day. I'm too tired to shop after work or class so I eat crap for dinner. Well, part of my goal is to stop this cycle. I've done OK this week...not great, but OK. The good news is, tomorrow is another day and another chance to reach my goal.

So, I have my goal, what's yours?

11/5/11

Date night dinner....mushroom tortelloni with cauliflower and cheese with steamed broccoli

 Steak tartare with bread and fries

 There's peanut butter in my chocolate!

Chicken quesadilla from Trader Joe's

 11/6/11

Chicken, couscous, broccoli and a little salad with homework in the background...

 mmmm, jelly donut...there was a sprinkled chocolate frosted donut too

Panera! My powersandwich...with tomato and spinach added!

11/7/11

Here's where I'm starting to get back on track...chicken, broccoli, and orzo with tomatoes and romano cheese

 Big 'ol salad and slice of pizza

Gettin' back to a normal breakfast--Uncle Sam cereal, egg and milk

 11/8/11

The Cheeseboy Gobbler sandwich!!!!! This is my new favorite. It's cheese, turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce

 Salad and pizza

OK, so I'm getting sick of the cafeteria not having skim milk and not having it in the small size so I'm going back to yogurt. SO, plain, non-fat yogurt and Uncle Sam cereal with an orange.

11/9/11

Yeah, so this is definitely NOT on the list.

 School snack at our class break this evening

 Salad from the cafeteria with couscous and buffalo chicken

 Salad and beef barley soup. I didn't eat the crackers

The granola cereal just hit the spot this morning with the tangy yogurt!

Lots of Photos!

Doing my best to recreate my food...

10/31/11

I've been doing cereal...too lazy/tired to make food...

 Panera for lunch!

A little Chocolate Therapy and Coconut 7 Layer Bar

Cheeseboy!!!! School project, really! Ham and american on whole grain with tomato soup.

 11/1/11

Eggs with broccoli, red pepper, yellow squash and cheese, oatmeal bread toast with strawberry jam.

 Pizza, brownie, soda...

Pizza theme??? With salad this time!

11/2/11

Dinner salad...I have no idea what I did with the photos of my other meals...

 11/3/11

OK, my new variation on the Breakfast Power Sandwich...add tomato and fresh spinach! Yummers!!! I posted this idea to Panera's FB page and even they said it sounded good.

 Chicken curry with long grain and wild rice, broccoli and corn...our cafeteria does some darned good curry, but they never make basmati or jasmine rice to go with it. What gives?  A little bit of trail mix on the side...cashews, almonds, chocolate and raisin.

Pretty standard salad for dinner...there was also a barley salad with some chopped veggies that I did not photgraph...my camera beeps and class had already started.

 11/4/11

Cereal for breakfast...I also had a vanilla almond biscotti

Back to Cheeseboy!!!! Multigrain bread with provolone, pepperoni, onion, tomato, red pepper and basil...with tomato soup on the side!

 Pomegranate soda at Maggiano's!

 Gotta love calamari!

 Chopped salad

Spaghetti and meatball in meat sauce from Maggiano's


I got a scoop of Chocolate Therapy and Coconut 7 Layer Bar ice cream after dinner...